I can do it?

So... alright. I'm finally ready to do this I think. I am currently downloading a SHIT TON of exercise videos, Ashtanga Yoga, Power 90, P90x (aim high, aren't I?), Slim in 6, and Chalean Extreme.

Think I'm overdoing it?

I started the Sadkhin Complex about 2 weeks ago and I'm having a super hard time with it. Just eating dairy and vegetables is pretty difficult as it is without my MEGA cravings. I keep starting out good at the beginning of the day and then slowly deteriorate. It's not even like I feel like I'm cheating that much on it, but look at what I'm supposed to have:

1.5 pounds of vegetables/fruits every 2 days. 20 oz of full fat dairy every other 2 days. You can have up to 6 tsp of honey a day.

I know it sounds crazy, but the whole plan has to do with accu pressure and sending signals to your brain by stimulating certain points every two hours that make your body use your fat reserves. It's real. I promise.

Anyway.

Yesterday was my dairy day. 20oz. of full fat dairy. This is what I ACTUALLY had yesterday:

1. ~cup cottage cheese with pomegranate seeds on top (Good.)

2. 6 oz of 2% greek yogurt w/pineapple (Kinda good. I'm not supposed to have 2%. And not with pineapple. But I was like, fuck it.)

3. 3 small apple pancakes with about a tsp of honey (Huge mistake. I was at a friends. They smelled really good.)

4. 1/4 cup of fried potatoes (With the pancakes. I suck!)

5. A whole bowl of leftover tofu and broccoli in garlic sauce (Ugh. I was so effing hungry by the time I got home from the pancake/potato thing that I just dumped all this leftover shit I had in my fridge that I shouldn't have even got in the first place in a skillet and scarfed it down.)

6. 2 eggs (at a diner with a melancholy friend)

7. ~cup of cottage cheese (with my eggs)

8. Mixed fruit cup from a dinner (also with my eggs. was prob chock full of sugar)

9. 1/2 of a sundae with melancholy friend to cheer her up (ugh. just... ugh. I hate myself.)

So you can see I'm trying. BUT I'M STILL EATING LIKE A FUCKING BOAR. ew. EW!

Now, I know I'm being hard of myself. But I'm realizing that portion control is a SERIOUS issue with me. If I'm not eating till I burst, I'm just not satisfied. It's sad. But I'm working on it. And I'll stick with it as long as I have to, even if the counselor for the Sadkhin Complex is a heinous bitch and made me feel bad last week for "only losing 7 pounds".

So I guess another challenge I'm facing is staying motivated even though my support system is below par. My friends don't understand it. Aforementioned counselor is a bitch. My mom lost 50 pounds on it but makes me feel like a retard because the plan was "soooo easy for me!" So yeah.

So this is what my plan is, as dumb and counterintuitive as it seems:

1. Try to stay on the Sadkhin plan as strictly as I can.

2. Accept that I am human and have a social life and that there will be times where I don't stick to it. But the times I don't stick to it, I have to make HEALTHY choices.

3. Stay away from meat. Fish is ok.

4. Work out. They don't recommend that you work out on Sadkhin because obviously, you're not really eating that much. But if I am going to stray, I have to make an effort to burn off the extra shit I ate. Hence, workout video downloading marathon.

5. Stick to the workout plan. 1 video, 6 days a week, 1 day rest. I'm thinking of either starting with Slim in 6, which is a 6 week routine, or Chalean Extreme, which I think is 13 weeks. Eventually I want to work myself up to p90x, although that is a LOFTY goal.

So that's the plan. I'm trying really hard not to get discouraged about it.

Lastly, a BEFORE picture for the record. I am currently 254lbs. I'm hoping to break 250 by Sunday when I have to go to the Sadkhin place again. It's Tuesday. Maybe I should make a better goal. Ok. 252 by Sunday.